


Happy Birthday

by Heckyheck_Icravedeath



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: :(, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crying, Depression, I hope you like it:), I like hurting Peter and it's not nice, I like hurting my own feelings too apparently, LMAO, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Feels, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, RIP, Since he dead, The Author Regrets Everything, Unfortunate, Well - Freeform, Why Did I Write This?, it's tony's birthday, lmao okay, s a d, who knew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 13:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19021198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heckyheck_Icravedeath/pseuds/Heckyheck_Icravedeath
Summary: “Happy Birthday, Mr. Stark.” Peter whispered softly to the tombstone. A few tears strayed from his eyes and dripped down his face.He had been dreading this day since Tony had passed. Sure it wasn't the first May 29th since Thanos, but it didn't get easier each year. It got worse if anything. It was always a reminder that he didn't do enough to keep Tony alive.Peter knew that he shouldn't blame himself. He knew that there wasn't much he could have done really, but still. He didn't doanything. He had stood there like a statue and watched Tony snap his fingers.





	Happy Birthday

“Happy Birthday, Mr. Stark.” Peter whispered softly to the tombstone. A few tears strayed from his eyes and dripped down his face. 

He had been dreading this day since Tony had passed. Sure it wasn't the first May 29th since Thanos, but it didn't get easier each year. It got worse if anything. It was always a reminder that he didn't do enough to keep Tony alive. 

Peter knew that he shouldn't blame himself. He knew that there wasn't much he could have done really, but still. He didn't do _anything_. He had stood there like a statue and watched Tony snap his fingers.

He couldn't get the image out of his mind. The one of Tony sitting on the ground with such an empty look in his eye. It haunted him all the time, and it was often the reason as to why he would wake up with tears rolling down his face most nights. 

Peter shook his head and focused back on the card that was in his hand. “I’ll read this to you since you can’t really read it.” He laughed because he knew he would end up crying instead if he didn’t. “It says on the front, _Happy Birthday to the best dad in the world_. Now don’t make fun of me for that.” He joked with a sad smile. “The inside says, _you’re my hero and my role model and now a few more years closer to one hundred_. Then I added my own little message like the sap that I am. You always did accuse me of being too sappy.” 

He sucked in a breath and read on. “ _You really are my hero. You helped me through so much and you taught me so much. You made me feel like I actually mattered and that I wasn’t just some useless high school kid like Flash likes to tell me. You made sure that I felt loved, needed, and wanted. You never belittled my problems or me. You were so supportive and just so amazing. I would’ve been lost without you, and we all know that. And now I am lost. Ever since you...you know...It’s been so hard. I don’t know what to do anymore. I mean I have May and Ned and everyone, but they aren’t you. No one could ever be you, live up to you._

_“I feel so stupid, you know? Like I can’t even put on the suit without breaking down. That’s kind of pathetic, but I can’t help it. I wear it and then immediately think of all the times we spent working on it. It hurts so fucking much and god I just want you back. I want you back, so we can just mess around in the lab, maybe be dumb and blow up a few things, get lectured by Pepper about it later. I want you back, so we can watch movies and eat pizza. I want you back, so I can hug you because I only ever got one hug from you and that wasn’t enough. Your hugs are the best and I just want more. I want to feel safe like that again._

_“Morgan told me that you used to talk about me a lot. That made me feel special. It made me want to run up to you and crack a stupid joke while trying not to cry, but I couldn’t do that. I had to just take it and then go home and cry to myself because you aren’t coming back and I’ll never get to tell you how much you really meant to me. I guess you knew, though. You always knew everything. The genius part of you I guess._

_“I really miss you. I said that before, but I just feel like I can’t express it enough. I wish I could go back and change it all so that you lived and no one died. It’s not fair that you had to die. You have a family who needs you, and you aren’t here because you had to sacrifice yourself. I hate it so much, but what can I do? Nothing except cry about it. And I mean that’s what I’ve been doing. I just can’t stop the tears. They come all the time and sometimes it’s annoying because I just want to be strong for Morgan and everyone else, but I can’t. I just can’t. It’s impossible._

_“Yeah, well, I’ll be strong someday. Never as strong as you were, but I’ll try because what kind of son would I be if I didn’t try? A pretty trashy one, right? And we can’t have that. Nah, don’t worry. It’ll be okay eventually, and you’ll be able to look down on me with a smile and say, “that’s my boy” or something like that. I don’t know exactly what you would say because you’re Tony Stark. It always depends on if you are in the mood to be sappy or not. I mean you rarely are sappy, but hey, there have been a few times._

_“Anyway, I’ll wrap this up now because it’s super long and I know how much you hate reading things that aren't formulas or science. Just know that I love you a lot, Mr. Stark and I’m really trying my best. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. I appreciate it all and I appreciate you. You always made everything so much more interesting and fun. I hope you like it up there and say hi to Natasha for me, will you? Alrighty, bye Mr. Stark. Have a great birthday. Love, Peter.”_

Peter closed the card and set it down by the grave. “I know that was sappy and heartfelt. Sorry about that, but it’s all true and I just want you to know that Morgan wishes you a happy birthday and so do Pepper and Happy. We are having cheeseburgers for dinner tonight just for you.” He sighed shakily and chewed on the inside of his cheek. 

He felt the tears start to welled in his eyes. He knew it was going to happen at some point on the visit. There was _no way_ that he would make it through with dry eyes. That was an impossible task right there. “I gotta go now or I’ll start crying on your grave and I know you don’t want that. So, uh, happy birthday and I love you. I’ll be back soon to take care of the flowers and such. See you, Mr. Stark.” 

With that Peter turned and walked away as the tears started to actually fall rapidly. 

His heart snapped some more in his chest and he felt a little worse. Just like every year.

**Author's Note:**

> :((( Wowza, that's sad. 
> 
> Yeyeyeyey, I told you that I had depression planned :)) we LOVE that shit, don't we? Lmao, no, but that's fine. I know you all love me secretly. 
> 
> Also, Happy Birthday Tony. I love you lmao. Sorry for like murdering you in this, but yeet. You cute man<3
> 
> Leave a like or comment!! <3333


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